


Love Thy Neighbor

by NCCrum0



Category: World Trigger (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Developing Friendships, Enemies to Friends, Friendship, Gen, Light Angst, Platonic Relationships, References to Depression, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:53:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26517772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NCCrum0/pseuds/NCCrum0
Summary: Respect is a two-way street and for Miwa he's got none to give, especially none for that white-haired Neighbor pipsqueak who keeps bothering him every day..
Relationships: Miwa Shuuji & Kuga Yuuma
Comments: 12
Kudos: 43





	1. (Un)Predictable

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AsherDemonWolfboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsherDemonWolfboy/gifts).



> Ayo, @HaikatheDemonbadboy, I finally came through with the fic request. I had a blast writing it, and I especially hope you like it too!

It was the weekend, and for most people that meant bliss. An escape from the 9-5 reality that plagues most people for their lives is gone for two days once the date roles over to Saturday. No school, no work, just the relaxation needed to do it all again the next week.

Unfortunately for Miwa, that was not his reality. He would rather go to school every day if it meant not having to go to HQ and avoiding one miniscule problem.

“Hey lead-guy.”

Now, some might say, ‘Miwa, your being too dramatic. How can it be that bad?’ And Miwa would simply say ‘Fuck you' and storm off because there isn't one person on the planet that could understand the situation he is going through right now.

“Hey, snake-guy, are you ignoring me?”

It seems as small as getting a rock stuck in your shoes, or getting a splinter that falls out at the end of the day, but for Miwa it was as if those splinters and rocks manifested into a person trying to talk to him.

“Now I’m wondering if you can even hear me. Should I speak louder?” Miwa watched his drink finally fall from the vending machine and he snatched it up violently. Yuma stood a foot away from Miwa, who had been trying to get his attention the whole time he was monologuing to himself. He sees Miwa turn towards him, and Yuma has a slight hope he'll talk to him until Miwa shoves past him towards the hallways he came from.

It had been exactly three weeks since the pipsqueak started coming up to him at HQ, and it had been three weeks since Miwa started to ignore him. Every day without fail he would find some way to intrude into his life. If he got food at HQ, the pipsqueak would be in line next to him, if Miwa was in the solo-booths he would be in the booth next to him, and one time he managed to weasel his way into Miwa’s squad room when Midorikawa stopped by.

It was exhausting, and it was too much for it to be a coincidence. He wanted something, and Miwa wouldn’t give him a chance to ask.

He steps into his operating room, noticing the lack of Yoneya and Narasaka in the corner of the room hooked up to his computer working on intense math homework that Miwa doesn’t even want to look at. Ren in the back room is talking to some other operators over a voice chat, leaving Miwa to grab a drink and sit at the table all by himself. He fiddles with his phone for a bit before getting bored and reading a book that provided the same level of entertainment.

Just then Yoneya waltzes in, Izumi and Midorikawa in tow. They’re talking about some video game when Yoneya spots Miwa and sits next to him. His face is smiley as always, his eyes slightly squinting together and the dimples popped onto his skin, but through their time together Miwa has noticed the slight differences in his smiles; this one meant he was concerned, and Miwa told him off before Yoneya could even say anything.

“I’m fine. Thank you for asking.” Instantly Yoneya pouts, and the other two sit across from him.

“Shuuji, you’re no fun.” He draws out his name and Miwa looks away from him. “How do you know what I’m going to say before I say it?”

“You’re predictable.” Yoneya somehow pouts even harder than before, and he turns to the other two in the idiot-trio.

“Is it true?” The other two nod with no hesitation and Yoneya sinks into the table in defeat. Izumi and Midorikawa laugh at him. This was a common occurrence around the operating room, Yoneya would bring his friends by and for a moment Miwa feels like a kid, like he’s getting better and having a good time, until he’s brought down to his knees again.

“Hey, have you two seen Yuma around?” A simple sentence from Midorikawa is enough to sink him down again and luckily, they don’t notice Miwa’s eyebrow twitch as they talk.

“I saw him by the solo-booths a couple hours ago, but he’s probably moved by now.” Izumi says, resting his head on the table. They shift to Yoneya who shrugs and they move to Miwa who gives them the same shrug. Izumi isn’t convinced however and perks up to point at him.

“You’re quite predictable yourself y’know?” Miwa frowns.

“How?”

“Whenever you’re lying, you do the same thing Yoneya does. You always shake your head when your telling the truth.” His eyes lower, but Izumi doesn’t shrink away from him. Sometimes having no brain is beneficial.

“Really? Mr. Bullet-for-brains can read into something that deep?” Izumi smiles. He was ready to entertain the snake.

“It happens every once in a while, and why did you lie, huh? You don’t like Yuma?” Miwa shakes his head. He doesn’t just dislike him, he’s repulsed by him.

“Of course I don’t like that pipsqueak. He doesn’t belong here.” Izumi shrugs again, and Yoneya realizes the signs too late for what’s about to happen. He tries to gesture towards Midorikawa to stop Izumi, but the words spill out of the blonde’s mouth too fast to react to.

“Honestly, he belongs here a lot more than we do. He knows more about triggers, he’s been in wars with them, maybe he should be telling to kill you instead of the other way around. Maybe you should talk to someone about your problems instead of blindly hating someone. Do you even know what he’s like?” Izumi steals a glance towards Yoneya who had been trying to signal at him to stop for the past few sentences and he throws up his eyebrows.

Miwa glances back towards Midorikawa, who stiffens under his gaze. Miwa knew he was friends with the pipsqueak, so he was probably looking at him funny too, and Yoneya had never got his hatred either. He felt alone, despite being surrounded by people, and he got up to take a walk around HQ again despite doing that a couple minutes ago.

It seemed like ever since that pipsqueak walked into his world for the first time, he had thrown his whole world for a loop. Kido always taught Miwa that Neighbors were the enemy, that they were to be eradicated, and yet a Neighbor founded Border, and this pipsqueak was his kid.

Why?

Why was everything crumbling around him?

And to add insult to injury, the moment he steps into the rank-war area he sees the pipsqueak scanning the area for someone to fight, Miwa hoping he doesn’t see him trying to walk by. But of course he does, and their eyes lock for a few moments. Then he bounds over to Miwa, giving him a wave.

“Hey lead-guy. You see anyone around here that wants to fight?” What he wants to do is turn and walk away like what he had been doing for weeks now: forget this pipsqueak even exists and go about his day like normal, but something about what Izumi said stuck to him.

‘Do you even know what he’s like?’ It was a simple question that left him feeling guilty.

He turns towards the white-haired kid.

“It’s Miwa, not lead-guy.” The pipsqueak smiles.

“And my name is Yuma, but you probably know that by now.” Miwa lowers his eyes; he would be a cocky little sh- no. Try to be nice. Imagine he’s just like everyone else.

“Who are you looking to fight?” Miwa asks him. He puts his hands behind his head and shrugs.

“Anyone really, I want to be ready for my match in a few days.” He looks up at Miwa for a few seconds.

“Did you want to fight?” He shakes his head.

“No, I have other things I need to do.” Yuma keeps his gaze for a few seconds before focusing on the people in the area again. Miwa notices a smirk forming on the edge of his mouth and before he can say anything, Yuma speaks up.

“You can just say no. You don’t have to lie about why.” Miwa huffs out his nose. That’s right, he has a built-in lie detector in him. He can’t just make up shit on the spot, how annoying.

“Fine, I simply don’t want to fight you right now.” Just then some other B-rank agents spot the pair and they usher Yuma over towards them. Yuma faces Miwa one last time to wave him goodbye.

“Hopefully we’ll talk more lead-guy.” Miwa opens his mouth to yell at him about the nickname when Yuma winks at him, he was joking, and Miwa settles down again. He watches as Yuma bounds over towards the group, their heads occasionally turning towards Miwa until they walk over to the booth where the pipsqueak disappears into one of them.

“You finally said hi to him.” Jin’s voice from behind him makes him jump, and he sends a glare towards the Tamakoma agent. He’s snacking on his usual brand of crackers and he offers them to Miwa, who declines quickly.

“What do you think of him?” Jin asks. It didn’t take long for Miwa to spout out his answer with a hiss.

“He’s a cocky little shit, who thinks he’s better than anyone else. Oh, and he’s a Neighbor,” He turns towards Jin who holds the same expression as before, “Is there anything else to say?”

Jin shrugs and takes another chip within his mouth.

“You will learn what he’s about as the days go by.” He taps the side of his head, “My side-effect says so.” Miwa shakes his head. He always uses that as an excuse to say anything, and today isn’t any different.

“Please, I introduced myself because he was talking to me every day, not because I want to be friends with him.” Jin simply hums in his throat, grabbing yet another chip to throw in his mouth.

“This is just the first step, y’know? Maybe you can find someone to help you talk about your sister next.” Miwa again shakes his head, but slower this time. The next time Jin offers him a chip, he takes it, carefully chewing it in his mouth. It wasn’t time for him to talk, not now, and especially not with Jin.

“If you keep frowning like that, you’ll end up with a permanent scowl.” Jin flicks his forehead just pissing him off more and Miwa storms off for the umpteenth time today. It didn’t matter where he went, it seemed like everywhere he went had the same annoying people in them, feeding him . Why was it that big a deal?

Miwa spends the rest of the day holed up in his operating room, and when the sun finally dips below the horizon, he gathers his things to head out.

The next day is filled with the same mind-numbing training and patrolling that he was used to doing a million times before. Yoneya stays ahead of him, bounding across rooftops and slashing apart Neighbors when they appear before Miwa even gets close. He turns towards Miwa a couple hours in, his face full of mischief and his hands twirling his spear.

“Shuuji, I’m bored.” He twirls his spear around his body, landing to point it at Miwa, hoping the agent would play with him for a bit. Miwa takes the tip of the spear and bats it to the side, which slumps Yoneya.

“We’re almost done. Then you can go mess around with Izumi.” Yoneya sighs and walks alongside Miwa.

“He got this new game the other day that we we’re going to play.” Miwa hums.

“We were going to get through a few levels before school tomorrow.” Yoneya says in an unenthusiastic tone. He huffs and Miwa only appears to agree. He liked going to school, it was a way to escape the constant barrage of questions people were asking him at Border. At school he could make the excuse that he had studying to do, and no one would think twice if he went into HQ. But on the weekends, there was an unspoken rule that you went into HQ, even if you had nothing to do that day, and that messed Miwa up.

Their shift was over and the two of them made their way back to HQ, Yoneya bounding away towards Izumi’s room, leaving Miwa to walk cautiously back to his room, hoping no one will talk to him on his way back.

He looked over his shoulder at every turn and snuck along the side of the hallways when someone walked past. He was nearing his door and Miwa relaxed seeing the final stretch of his journey. All he needed was a few more turns and he would be left alone for the rest of the day. He sneaks over to the corner and peaks past it; there his room sat, no one in sight. Nodding to himself, he approaches his room as a voice from behind him sends him screeching to a halt.

“Why are walking around like you’re avoiding someone?” Miwa jumps from his voice and he turns around to see the pipsqueak standing behind him. He wasn’t expecting anyone had snuck up on him, he looked over his shoulder at every turn, how did this little Neighbor get behind him so easily?

Miwa takes a step back and clears his throat.

“I am trying to avoid anyone who wants to talk to me. Like you. So could you please move along and do whatever you were going to do before you started stalking me?” He makes a face with puckered lips and shakes his head.

“I don’t want to.” Miwa feels his eyebrow twitch. How annoying.

“Why not?”

“I wasn’t doing anything before I saw you this morning and I followed you because I wanted to talk you.” Miwa takes another step back. He wasn’t willing to talk to a Neighbor so frivolously as he was suggesting.

“Why would I talk to you, Neighbor?” He shrugs.

“You talked to me yesterday after a couple weeks of ignoring me.” Miwa sighs, that was the only point he had. He turns away to avoid the kid and tries to walk towards his operating room door when the pipsqueak flies past him to block him from entering the room. He crosses his arms to form an ‘X’ and he matches Miwa’s movements as he tries to get around the kid.

“Damn your annoying. You hang out with Jin too much.” He gives Miwa a grin and gets into a cat-like stance. He was ready to fight Miwa, but he wasn’t having it and spun on his heels to walk away from Yuma. He hears the pipsqueak make a nose from behind him and he jogged up to walk alongside Miwa.

“So where are you going now?” Miwa glares at him.

“Hopefully somewhere you won’t follow me to.” Yuma wraps his hands behind his head as they walk down the hallways, other agents giving them looks as they walk by. Miwa admits in his mind that the pair stick out like a sore thumb; Miwa was always someone that avoided contact with other agents outside his squad, save for Izumi and occasionally Mr. Kazama, and Yuma was the ace of Tamakoma-2, who also looked concerningly young for being an agent.

As they enter the cafeteria, Miwa grabs himself a tray of food along with Yuma trailing behind him like a puppy.

He sits down, and Yuma sits in front of him. Miwa looks down at Yuma’s tray to see he got nearly the exact same meal as him, the only difference being the milk carton Miwa grabbed at the last moment.

“Why are you following me?” Miwa asks again. Yuma takes a bite of his sandwich and shrugs.

“You’ve been looking kind of down recently, Midorikawa was talking about that too. I just wanted to say hi.” He bites into the sandwich again, crumbs falling off his face and into his lap. Miwa stares at his food, suddenly asking himself why he got lunch. He wasn’t hungry, he hadn’t felt that sensation in a couple weeks, and even when he was he never got anything that was on his plate at the moment.

He looked up again to see Yuma nearly finishing his plate, and he pushed his tray towards him. Yuma tilts his head to the side, his eyebrows thrown up in dramatic fashion.

“I’m not hungry you take it.” Yuma doesn’t hesitate and grabs his plate before he’s even speaking. He chewed on his food with the same intensity as he had seen Yosuke do thousands of times before, and his expressions were as exaggerated as Midorikawa’s. It almost made him seem like a kid, like a human.

But he wasn’t; he was a Neighbor, and Miwa had almost started giving him some sympathy.

Miwa gets up to walk away as Yuma scrambles to finish his food to follow him. Miwa waves him off.

“Don’t follow me, I’m just going to my squad’s room.” He says in a stern voice. This time the pipsqueak takes the hint, and he slows down his bites.

“Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Miwa wished he didn’t say that because that would imply that he was going to HQ tomorrow, which he was not planning on. He just wanted to finish the school day and relax at his house, away from people, away from anyone who made him think.

He wraps his scarf tightly around his neck and nestles into it as he walks towards his squad’s door, hoping this time no one will stop him from enjoying the blissful silence that accompanied the inside.

Strangely, none of his other squad mates were inside. On the weekends at least someone would be inside studying or playing games on the table. It almost made him wish he was back outside, emphasis on almost. He traveled towards the back of the room, passed Ren’s desk, and laid down on his bailout mat. It wasn’t abnormal for him to pass out on the weekends, but for some reason he felt more tired than usual.

A white-haired pipsqueak flashed in his mind and he narrowed his eyebrows. That was probably why he felt tired. Just being around him drained his energy, and every mention of him was a punch to the gut. Something within him simply hated the kid, something that he hadn’t been able to describe in quite a while. He closed his eyes and tried to explain why to himself. He knew he hated the pipsqueak, he was only being nice to him because he couldn’t kill him, but he couldn’t pick out the why to that. His eyes fluttered open again.

Why do you hate him? His conversation with Izumi echoed in his mind again; he didn’t have an answer to that, not anymore. He could only hope that the pipsqueak would leave him alone for the rest of his life so he could go back to how he was before.

And again, a voice rang through his skull: ‘what was so good about how you were before?’. No answer. It seemed like there were a lot of unknowns still, or maybe there weren’t, and he was just trying to shield himself from the truth of the situation. Maybe everything that was shoveled into his brain was a lie, and maybe that’s why nothing had felt right since the pipsqueak came by.

He placed his palms into the sockets of his eyes. He had been thinking too much, he needed the rest his brain was denying his body and without it he would feel shitty for the rest of his day. Yet that’s where he stayed for hours, constantly fighting between the two immovable forces in his body, leaving him feeling worse than ever when he finally convinced himself to go home to sleep with the same amount of success.


	2. Monday's are the Worst

The number of times his alarm had gone off was uncountable by 8 am, but that didn’t stop Miwa from pressing the snooze button just one last time. It was the start of the week and the amount of sleep he got was not going to be enough to make him through the rest of the morning, let alone the day.

The next time his alarm rang harshly through the room and Miwa forced his eyes open to turn it off for the last time. The light outside had flooded into his room, casting lined shadows across his bed, and nearly blinding him as he sat up. Miwa cursed at the light, trying to shade his eyes, but it was futile as specks flowed through his fingers.

He already had a headache, but now that he was rudely awoken by the sun, he could officially say his morning was ruined. He stumbles out of bed towards the bathroom, turning the lights on with a simple flick. Through the mirror, he could see the painfully obvious bags under his eyes and his skin that got paler as each day passed.

It had been months since he saw the loose skin recede from under his eyes; he would have forgotten what he looked like before if his mother didn’t have pictures strewn about the house of himself. It was obvious she was proud of him, but Miwa didn’t feel the same appeal: the only thing he saw were the orange bottles of medication lined the inside of the medicine cabinet, which he needed to take in case he didn’t want to feel like shit every day.

The two bottles he picked out were nearly empty, and he hesitantly washed them down with the sink water. It wasn’t an immediate effect, but every time he took his pills, he became more agitated and painfully aware of it. He hadn’t washed his school uniform, so he had to use his second pair that fit a bit too tight, he realized he might have snoozed a bit too long and had to hurry causing him to trip over his bag in his scramble and to top it all off he got to school late anyway, so none of rushing even mattered.

Luckily for him, the teacher in his first class was forgiving and let him off with a warning, not before asking him what was wrong. He might have been a bit too obvious when saying ‘nothing’, because when normal people say nothing, they don’t try to tug at the tight spots on their shirts, look at their feet, or look like ghosts coming back to haunt the living.

His teacher lets him sit down, and he wants to die seeing the faces of his classmates staring at him as he enters his seat. All throughout the day he feels himself nodding off, constantly teetering into unconsciousness until someone snaps him back to reality. It wasn’t until lunch that he was able to take a break, and he chose the hour of sleep over the miniscule energy he would get from eating. Crumbling into his arms, he used them as pillows and quickly fell asleep after feeling shuffling around his desk. This hadn’t been the first time he fell asleep at school, nor would it be the last, and every time his body made sure to wake him up ten minutes before his next class so he could have something in his stomach.

“Good morning sleepy-head.” Yoneya said to him as he woke up. He glanced around, seeing Izumi and Yoneya had pulled up a desk next to his. They had already finished their lunches, but some had been left untouched between the two. Izumi pushes it over towards him.

“You look like you had a rough night, so we got you some food.” Miwa was still groggy and munched on the food after he gave the pair a thank you. Yoneya was looking at him with his concerned eyes, and Izumi kept glancing between Miwa and him.

“I’m fine, Yoneya, thanks for the concern.” He pouts, but the kind that left Miwa feeling guilty, and not satisfied that he avoided unnecessary questions.

“Alright, but I’m here for you if you want to talk.” Miwa nods and continues to eat his food while Yoneya and Izumi talk about the game they played yesterday, Miwa listening intently. In the middle of their conversation, the bell rings for them to go return to class and the pair packs up their bags. Yoneya takes Miwa’s tray to put it up for him, but stops in his tracks on the way out.

“Shuuji, we we’re going to HQ today if you wanted to join us! Text me if you can!” He runs off before Miwa can say anything back, leaving him to contemplate his options for the rest of his classes. On one hand, he really didn’t want to go to HQ, that pipsqueak Yuma would get in his way somehow, and on the other end Yoneya had been nice to him and he wanted to repay him. He swirls his pencil between his fingers, not paying attention to anything the teacher was saying.

There was a buzz that vibrated in his pocket and he took it out, making sure the teacher didn’t notice.

>So, do you think you can make it today? We we’re just going to practice, so don’t feel like you need to come y’know?

Miwa smiled to himself. Yoneya worried too much, but it was always nice to know someone cared about him.

< I’ll be there

His text felt a bit more curt than he would have liked, but Yoneya understood, sending a smiling emote his way. He was going to send another text, but his teacher turned around before he could hit send.

It was a few hours later and Miwa was watching the clock throughout all his classes. He watched the forty-five-minute bell pass once, then twice, and before the end of the day he had his backpack on, ready to bolt out of his classroom. 

The bell rung and he bolted out of the class ahead of his other classmates, jumping down flights of stairs on his way towards the front of the school. He waited anxiously by the gate, waiting for the two boys to appear in his sights. Through the crowd he makes eye contact with the headband-wearing boy, who waves at him and rushes over with Izumi on tow.

“Ready to head out?” Miwa nods silently.

Like usual, the walk to headquarters is filled with Miwa silently listening to the pair talk about whatever drama they’re experiencing, occasionally questioning Miwa who answers with one word. They never try to pressure him to talk more and besides, he didn’t need to. The two loved the sounds of their own voices so much he could never say anything and still be having a conversation with them. It seemed like a lot of characters in Border were like that: Tachikawa, Jin, Midorikawa, coincidently, he hated most of them so Yoneya was the outlier.

They arrived at Headquarters, Izumi leading them over to the rank war booths. The three seemed to be the first ones there from the after school rush, and they entered their respective booths. It had been a while since Miwa had been to the solo booths; it was strange not using his personal training room and even stranger thinking anyone could watch his matches as he fights.

He sees Izumi and Yoneya’s names pop up on the nearly vacant screen, and Miwa watches as they lazily fight each other. They were just messing around and Miwa smiles to himself watching them. Halfway through their matches, Miwa sees someone on the screen wants to fight: a scorpion user. Even though he was in the booth, he was mostly there to watch Yoneya’s match, but he bounced his leg knowing his friend would want him to do something himself.

He hesitantly clicks the ‘accept’ button on the screen and feels his body transfer into the virtual space. He blinks, and realizes he’s on a street, a beam of light casting his opponent into view. Miwa’s eyebrow twitches.

“Oh, hey lead-guy.” He pulls out his gun and loads it with the ‘Viper’ modifier, his Kogetsu in his other hand. He points his sword towards Yuma, who manifests a scorpion in response.

“Hey, neighbor.” He can feel his anger seething through his words. Just seeing the pipsqueak was enough to make him feel ready to fight compared to just a few seconds before. The alarm rang to signal the start of their match and neither of them moved. They were analyzing each other, watching each other’s stances for any weaknesses.

As much as Miwa didn’t want to admit, he knew the pipsqueak was a huge threat. Miwa had seen watched his fights with Midorikawa and in the B-rank wars, he was smart and used his weapons uniquely. Yuma summons a Grasshopper and launches forward towards Miwa. He blocks Yuma’s scorpion and slashes back towards him. Yuma sidesteps out of the way and is met by Miwa’s Viper from the front and back. Yuma feels his body crack and launches forward to try to kill Miwa before his trion runs out. Miwa blocks one final time, slashing back to hear the ‘bail out’ ring through the street.

He loads up the Asteroid bullets for the next fight. Their first scramble was too easy. It seemed the pipsqueak was testing him, prodding him for any flaws.

He sees Yuma appear again, and the alarm rang. This time Yuma takes no time to burst towards Miwa, matching their blows from each other. Yuma sets up a couple grasshoppers to bounce off but Miwa sneaks a hit into Yuma’s abdomen, stumbling him. In their close scramble, Yuma launches a few claws from his body towards Miwa while he shoots his gun into Yuma’s head. Again, the ‘bail out’ rang through the world and Miwa’s wounds are healed.

The next time Yuma appears, he takes a second to talk to Miwa.

“You’re surprisingly resourceful.” Miwa loads his gun.

“I can tell you’re just trying to analyze me,” He points the gun towards Yuma, who smiles cheekily, “so let’s just get on with this.”

The alarm rings and Yuma bursts forward with multiple Grasshoppers set up to connect with Miwa. He sends a claw toward Miwa’s shoulder, who blocks it with a shield and slashed back towards him. Yuma dodges and strikes again, landing straight into Miwa’s side. Miwa shoots towards Yuma, who moves to the side but doesn’t expect the bullets to chase him. He blocks and Miwa is there to slash through the shield into Yuma’s arm.

They separate for a few moments until Miwa shoots a few rounds towards Yuma, forcing him to advance. He bounds forward and will a well-placed hit, knocks Miwa back into the bail-out mat. He hears Yuma huff through the intercom.

“That was close.” Miwa activates his trigger again and is teleported into the street again. He unsheathed his weapons again and Miwa feels his anger build; he was still in the lead, but the idea of losing to a neighbor was coursing hot blood through his body. He needed to calm himself down. If he got too angry, he knew he would react poorly. Miwa took a deep breath, hearing the alarm ring again.

The next few matches showed that the two of them were equally matched. As Yuma gained an edge, Miwa matched him back. At the end of their match, it was an equal 5-5 and Miwa felt relieved that he didn’t lose. He felt the pipsqueak bounce up to him, Midorikawa in tow.

“That was a good match lead-guy.” Miwa frowns.

“I told you my name was Miwa.” He put his hands behind his head, and Miwa felt his forehead scrunch.

“Alright Miwa, did you want to want to go again?” He shook his head.

“No, I need to pay back Yoneya for something. Do you know where he is, Midorikawa?”

Midorikawa tells him they’re in Miwa’s squad room. He says thank you and walks off towards the vending machines. He picks out a drink for him and Yoneya, and once again he feels his forehead crinkle. Turning around, he sees the pipsqueak and Midorikawa following him.

“What are you two doing?”

“We’re following you.”

“Why?” They both shrug, how annoying.

“We wanted to see how you were doing from yesterday. And we wanted to hang out with you and the other two.” He sighs and keeps walking towards his squad’s room, getting increasingly annoyed by Yuma’s questions. He wasn’t like Yoneya, who let him stay silent. He wanted to have a conversation with him, and he hated that.

“So Miwa, why did you join Border?” It was a question out of left field, and Miwa didn’t know how to respond for a second. Even Midorikawa stayed silent for once. Miwa gulped.

“Why do you ask?” He shrugged nonchalantly, like his question wasn’t that big a deal.

“I was just wondering. You seem to hate neighbors so much, I was wondering if you joined because of it.” Midorikawa glanced between the two, his eyes hovering slightly longer on the black-haired boy before shifting to the other.

“Yeah, something like that.” His eyebrows flew up.

“So, you’re not going to tell me?” Miwa’s sharp glare answered his question, and the trio entered the room silently. Yoneya and Izumi felt the room shift immediately, but Yoneya still smiled anyway. Miwa sat down next to Yoneya and placed the drink next to him. He looked at Miwa, confused.

“It’s for the lunch you got me today.” Yoneya smiles and cracks open the can, sipping on it as the group talked amongst themselves. Yuma still pressed for an answer to his question, and the others got the same treatment.

“Well, I think I just wanted to have fun.” Yoneya said, sinking into his chair. Izumi nodded with him.

“Yeah, I saw everyone else starting to join, so I said why not? It also helped that a recruiter came by my school and told me I had a lot of trion.” It was Midorikawa’s turn, and he shrugged.

“It was just something I wanted to do. I saw a bunch of my friends talking about it and I wanted to give it a shot.” Everyone nodded in agreement and hesitantly turned towards Miwa. Deep down they all knew why he joined, but they wanted him to say it out loud.

“You all know why.” He says under his breath.

“Yeah, but maybe saying it will, I don’t know, make you feel better?” Miwa winces. How did conversation turn towards him?

“I’m fine, really.” He looks into his lap and sighs. “You all know how to steer a conversation towards something serious, don’t you?” He can see Yoneya’s guilty smile from next to him. Miwa can feel everyone shift uncomfortably and he gets up.

“I’m going home. I’ll see you two tomorrow.” Izumi and Yoneya wave him goodbye while Yuma gets up to follow him. Miwa lowers his eyes and accepts that the pipsqueak is going to follow him around everywhere. He says nothing, but just his presence made Miwa pissed off.

He continues to follow Miwa until he gets to the main lobby in headquarters, where he clears his throat to catch Miwa’s attention.

“So, your sister died from a neighbor attack?”

“And you asked me why I joined Border already knowing the answer.” He turned around to face the white-haired kid. His eyes bore into him differently than usual.

“Look, I just want you to know getting revenge won’t help, you’ll still feel the same if you don’t let go.” Miwa’s face scrunches.

“And how the fuck would you know?” He can feel the anger rise in his voice and other agents turn to glance at them. Miwa shifts awkwardly. He didn’t mean to grab their attention.

“My dad died to give me my black trigger. You’re just hurting yourself by staying stuck in the past. I did for a long time.” Miwa shook his head as he talked.

“I don’t need to be taking advice from a neighbor. And stop pestering me, it’s getting annoying.” He walks out the front door, leaving Yuma in the lobby. His walk home was spent venting his anger into whatever pebbles crossed his path. How dare he, how dare this neighbor try to tell him that what to think?

He kicked a rock down the street, sending it into a gutter. He hated seeing that kid; he was everything he hated in the world, and Miwa didn’t know why the pipsqueak felt he needed to be near him so much. Hadn’t he made it clear he wanted nothing to do with the pipsqueak? Scratch that, ‘nothing’ involves everything on a day-to-day basis, but if he had the opportunity to kill the Neighbor, he would.

He unlocked the front door, and like usual, his parents weren’t home. Miwa set his backpack down, his eyes drawn to a white bag on the counter. There was a note on it, a blue sticky-note covered in hearts. He pulls it off the bag to read it.

‘I hope you’re having a lovely day sweetie! I got your medicine from the pharmacy (obviously it’s in this bag). Your father and I will be working late as usual so make sure to feed yourself, don’t skip dinner, it’s important! Love you! <3,’

Miwa weakly smiled; fortunately for his mom, his stomach twisted from hunger as he checked the fridge for the first time in weeks. There wasn’t much, but that wasn’t surprising as his entire family never stayed in their home long. Most of the foods inside were ingredients. He would have to make something if he wanted an actual meal. He prepared rice in the rice cooker and sides to sit down to eat.

The TV played a random show in the background as Miwa ate in silence. It was comforting. The lack of people made him feel safe, no one to pester him with any sort of questions. But even as he sat, the thoughts clouded his mind, even more so when he looked at the mantle, a picture of him and his sister perched carefully between other family photos.

Letting go isn’t as easy as the pipsqueak was making it out to seem, he’s tried before but it never worked out, it just made him feel shittier than before. Miwa knew he had to, eventually, but how long that was is to be determined.

Finishing his food, he turns off the TV and cleans up the table. He washes his dishes and leaves them to dry when he’s done with his meal. He walks into his bathroom and turns on the shower, his body starting to feel the effects of his pills wearing off. He had to take his shower quickly or else he would end up under the water until it freezes to his body.

He gets out, dries off, and smashes into the bed. His hair is still damp, and he vaguely remembers his mother saying he’ll get a fever if he sleeps with wet hair. He didn’t care and curled up under the blankets, hoping that the rest of the week isn’t as soul sucking.

Who was he kidding? Of course it was going to be, like it always had been.


	3. Talking is hard, why can't we just stay silent?

Wake up, go to school, go to Border, go home and sleep. That was Miwa’s daily schedule that kept him going for years, his body running on auto-pilot, making sure he got everywhere at the right time. But now, with the Tamakoma branch meddling in his life, this schedule was thrown out of tune.

On some school days, when he was more tired than usual, his legs would carry him towards Border but the problem with that was when he got there, his legs couldn’t do everything for him, he had to think with his mind.

“Is being super negative your thing? Or is it just a coincidence I always see you at a bad time?” The pipsqueak, Yuma, would immediately find him almost every day, and pester him with questions that he couldn’t absent mindedly answer.

“You’re causing my negative mood.” He turns a corner and bolts towards the vending machine like usual. Like he had done for days, Yuma brushes off his statement and continues with his questions.

“Well, I was thinking about you last night, and I was wondering what your sister was like?” Miwa’s drink hits the bottom of the vending machine with a thud. Yuma noticed the atmosphere change instantly and Miwa sighs. He picks up his drink and cracks it open.

“She was the most genuine person I ever knew, and she helped me with a lot of things I was dealing with.” He takes a swig of his drink, almost forgetting the pipsqueak was listening to him.

“She didn’t deserve to die. Sometimes I wonder if I should have been in her place instead.” He shuffles in his shoes, his drink sloshing in its can. Yuma turns towards him, his face as unmoving as before.

“Do you really think that?” Miwa shrugs and leans against the wall.

“Sometimes, especially around her birthday.” He stares at Miwa for a second.

“Well, if she’s as nice as you say she is, she probably wouldn’t want you to think like that.” He glances towards Yuma who steps up to the vending machine, inserting change into it.

“My dad always told me to never look back; what happens in the past, stays in the past.” The machine shakes and Yuma’s drink rattles down to the bottom. He picks it up and smiles at Miwa.

“Y’know, I didn’t really feel free until I talked about it with someone.” He leans into Miwa and clinks their drinks together. “I have a feeling it might be same with you.” He walks away from Miwa, leaving him with his drink warming in his hands. He takes another sip, and without thinking walks down the hallways towards an operating room.

He arrives at the door, a familiar eye emblem on it. He lifts up his fist, hesitant to tap on the door. He could already feel his hands getting clammy and his leg bounced in his place. He shook off his fears and knocked on the door, waiting a few moments before a back-haired man answered the door.

“Hi Mr. Kazama.” He has glasses on, barely hiding the circles under his eyes and seeing Miwa his eyes widen. Under the older man’s gaze, he could feel his little confidence waning.

“Hello Miwa, what can I do for you? You don’t stop by much.” He takes a deep breath.

“I was wondering if I could talk to you about something.” Miwa wasn’t sure if the black cloud over his head was obvious or if Kazama was just good at reading him, but either way he let Miwa inside without another word.

Miwa sits himself on the bench, across from Kazama’s set up that stretched the table. Kazama gathers his papers into a stack, closing the laptop.

“What’s all this for?” Miwa asks, trying to keep his mind off his growing fidgeting.

“School work mostly, but some of this is paper work Tachikawa pushes onto me.” He sighs and hooks his glasses onto his shirt and walks over to the fridge.

“Do you want a drink? We have milk and water.” Miwa tells him no, but Kazama brings over two water bottles anyway, handing one to him.

“I didn’t know you had glasses.” Miwa fiddles with the bottle while Kazama takes a couple gulps. He locks eyes with Miwa and under his gaze Miwa shrinks back. Kazama always had harsh eyes, and he loosened his face when he noticed Miwa’s hesitation.

“I use them when I’m working on my laptop. I stare at this thing so long it hurts my eyes. So I got glasses to help with it.” Miwa gulps, he’s jealous of Kazama’s proactive nature. He definitely wouldn’t have enough motivation to do that himself.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Miwa takes a deep breath.

“I… wanted to talk to you about my sister,” Kazama nods and Miwa can feel his gaze soften, “I just wanted to talk to someone who would understand. I guess that’s why I came here.” Kazama nods again, and he sinks in his seat.

“So I’m guessing you know my brother died from a Neighbor attack a few year ago.” Miwa nodded, keeping his eyes focused on his lap.

“Yeah, I was just wondering what helped you deal with everything?” Kazama thinks for a second, his hand rubbing around his neck as he ponders.

“I think I just had people to talk to, it helps to have someone around to take your mind off of things.” He nods as he talks, and Miwa continues to look at his lap.

“Who did you talk to?”

“Kizaki, Rindou, even Jin a bit. They had friends that died as well, so we helped each other get through everything.” Miwa looks up towards Kazama at the mention of Jin and scowled.

“Jin? Those Tamakoma agents had people killed by Neighbors, and yet they continue to support them anyway?” Kazama sighs.

“Look, Miwa. When I went out on the expedition a couple months ago, it changed how I viewed Neighbors. Each country over there has as much in common with each other as they do with us.” Miwa can feel his eyebrows crinkle and his eyes start to narrow. Kazama sips on his water again.

“Miwa I’m worried about you.” his eyebrows loosen, “I don’t like seeing you with so much anger. You’re too young to feel that sort of resentment.” Miwa slumps in his seat. He digs his head into his hands; even Kazama was telling him that something was wrong with him.

“Y’know, I think it might be good for you to hang out with someone in Tamakoma. Mikumo, Jin, maybe even that Neighbor kid, I think they can help you.” Miwa can feel his mouth curl down again. He had to mention that pipsqueak that kept annoying him all day. He was the last person he wanted to talk to, and Jin was as equally annoying. He stands up, ready to head for the door. It turned out this was a waste of his time.

“Well, thank you Mr. Kazama.” He’s curt with his goodbye and Kazama isn’t accepting it. He stands up himself, his eyes sharpening. He was serious, but Miwa just wanted to leave.

“Miwa, it’ll only hurt if you continue like this. Trust me, I’ve been through the same situation. I know you’re angry, but it won’t help if you only hate.” Miwa scowls and moves towards the door. He yanks it open while Kazama tries to talk him back from the inside, realizing he was unsuccessful as the door closes in his face.

Miwa outside leans against the door and buries his face in his hands. Everything he just did was a mistake. Why did he ever think saying something was going to help? He leaves to walk down the monotonous hallways, nowhere in particular in his mind. He just needed to walk to shake the conversation out of his system.

But as he went his mind kept drifting back; he had two different sections in his mind that were fighting amongst themselves. He knew something was wrong with himself, but he didn’t know how to make fix it. Right now, he just wanted to be alone. He didn’t want to think.

His legs led him to the cafeteria where Yoneya and Izumi saw him and tried to beckon him over. But Miwa shook his head; his throat felt tight, talking wasn’t even an option for him right now. He hurries out of the cafeteria, towards the entrance to the building, and sees Azuma talking to some agents. Out of the corner of his eye, Azuma spots him and waves. His smile drops when he sees his face and Miwa realizes Kazama wasn’t just good at reading him, his fear was plastered onto his face.

Azuma tries to call out to him, but Miwa just walked away, away from the people who want to talk to him. He breaks out into a run, feeling the eyes of agent’s bore into him. He needed to get air, he needed to get away from the walls that were increasingly closing in on him.

He reaches double-doors, flinging his body through them and collapsing onto the roof. His stomach feels tight, like he’s going to throw up, but the only thing he tastes is the chilled air from outside. He stumbles over to the side of the roof, staying away from the edge that was getting wavy as he walked. He crumbles into the ground, his hands wrapped around his head, trying to protect him from the thoughts that ran through his head.

He feels a hand hit his shoulder, and he sinks farther into himself. It didn’t matter who it was, he just wanted them to leave him alone.

“Miwa,” A gargled voice slithers through his fingers and reaches his ears. Miwa just tries to ignore them, pressing his fingers together to try and protect his ears from the outside noise. The person sits next to him, their body radiating a faint heat that splits the chilly air away from his body. Miwa feels the time tick by. At some point he started counting the seconds, waiting for the body to shift away from him, but they sit still, hellbent on staying with him in his pathetic hour.

After a few minutes, Miwa hears the heartbeat in his ear recede, and the air around him gets calmer. He takes his hands off of his ears, hearing the rhythmic air whip against the side of the building. His eyelids flicker open and looks to the side to see Yuma sitting next to him. He says nothing, which Miwa likes, and they lock eyes for a moment before staring across the roof.

“Why did you follow me up here?” Miwa finally croaks out, his voice raspy. Yuma shrugs.

“You just seemed like you needed someone next to you.” As Yuma shifts, the wind hits Miwa with a chilled force and he flinches for a moment. Yuma notices and shifts back to where he was before. 

“Y’know Miwa, I found this method of helping myself cope with bad thoughts if you wanted to try it out.” Miwa glances at him for a split second.

“Please, I’m a lost cause. And you’re implying there’s something wrong with me by even recommending a 'method’. What is it? Voodoo? A soul-sucking trigger? Or is it maybe,” he leans in for dramatic effect, “thinking nice thoughts?”

He leans away from Yuma again and slumps into himself. His eyes lower.

“I’ve heard that one before, the therapists just don’t understand I don’t think like that.” Yuma brings his eyes into his chest and rests his chin on his knees. He looks over to Miwa, one of his cheeks mashed upwards.

“Look, I don’t care if you hate me, or if you think I’m going to kill you some day, I just want to help.” Miwa mimics Yuma’s stature but posts his arms to soften the pressure on his face. For once he sees the genuine concern on the kid’s face, or maybe that was because he had never looked at him this long.

“So your dad died and gave you your back trigger?” He nods and repositions himself, the pressure from his knees leaving a red indent on his face.

“Yeah, I used it to kill my country's enemies. I didn’t want to, but it was the best way to get revenge for my father’s death.” He shakes his head.

“But after it seemed like all my enemies were defeated, I felt empty. So I traveled around the neighborhood like he wanted me to, and I ended up here, like he wanted me to.” Miwa stretches his legs out and leans back to let his back hit the ground. Birds gather and disperse from their flocks above them while the sun dips below the horizon. Yuma sighs.

“But after that, I just did what I wanted to. He’s not here to tell me what I can and can’t do.” Yuma smiles and lays next to Miwa, looking at the same sky as him.

“So that’s what you should do too.” Miwa narrows his eyes.

“That’s it? Just lie to myself? Tell myself she isn’t dead?” Yuma shakes his head.

“Of course not, but just follow what she would have wanted you to do until you can’t anymore.” Miwa takes a deep breath and wraps his scarf tighter around his neck. Yuma kept talking.

“You said she was nice, right? You should follow her through that. I have a feeling she wouldn’t have wanted you to take revenge in her name.” Miwa closes his eyes, Yuma was right. She wouldn’t want him to, but that was what he had been doing for four years since she died. How could he just flip a switch and say all is forgiven?

“I don’t even know where to start. How could I even do that?” Yuma sits up and Miwa follows him.

“Well, how about we look at things realistically?” Miwa frowns but Yuma continues, anyway.

“In the neighborhood, there are hundreds of different countries and states that have their own unique cultures and ideologies. Hating all of them would be like hating humanity.” Kazama was saying the same thing when they talked. It seemed like something kind of obvious when someone said it aloud, but it was weird to hear, nonetheless.

“I mean, how about instead of hating all of them, you defend yourselves from the ones that try to harm you, and feel indifferent about those that don’t.”

“Feel indifferent?” Yuma nods.

“Yeah, I mean, I hope you feel indifferent about me when we stop talking today.” Miwa looks away from Yuma.

“I might.” Yuma smiles, showing his teeth. 

“And I hope you don’t think I’m saying everyone on the other side is good. There are plenty that would take advantage of you if you went in with an ‘everyone is nice’ attitude.” Miwa throws up an eyebrow.

“Like the one’s from Aftokrator?” Yuma nods.

“Yeah, I never liked them when I went as a kid.” Just then, the door to the roof flew open and Jin walks through with his phone against his ear. He says goodbye and waves to the pair.

“I finally found you two! Azuma and Kazama were worried about you Miwa.” He scowls seeing the Tamakoma agent and gets up to match his height.

“I’m fine, I just needed a break. It was getting stuffy inside.” Jin flashes a cheeky smile and turns towards Yuma, who puts his hands behind his head, showing his own smile.

“We were just talking, nothing more than that.” Jin nods, leading the pair back inside and letting the warmth develop around Miwa immediately. When the three of them travel down to the main lobby, Azuma rushes over to give Miwa a worried smile.

“Hello Miwa. You look like you are doing better than an hour ago.” Miwa nods and feels Yuma give him a nudge.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Miwa.” Yuma waves at him and him and Jin walk through the front doors, probably going back to Tamakoma to train there. Azuma leans into him, watching the door as the pair leaves.

“It seems like your making new friends. That’s good.” Miwa turns around to face Azuma, whose face is warm.

“I wouldn’t call the two of them friends by any stretch.” Azuma smiles.

“Well, I’m glad you’re making acquaintances. Is that a better word for it?” Miwa nods, and he can feel a yawn rising out of his mouth.

“Do you need a ride home? I would hate it if you walked in this cold weather.” Miwa brushes him off as he prepares to walk back home.

“I don’t need you worrying about me all the time, Mr. Azuma.” He takes Miwa’s bag from him and throws it over his shoulder, to Miwa’s protest.

“Well, I do anyway. Come on, it’s a short walk to the car.” Miwa sighs and follows Azuma outside to get a ride home. Even though he hadn’t talked to Azuma in a while, he was always willing to help Miwa whenever he needed it, even if Miwa didn’t want help. And Azuma never pressured him into talking about his problems like that pipsqueak was doing. He just made sure Miwa knew he was there to help.

“Thank you, Mr. Azuma.” He smiles to Miwa as they approach his house.

“Anytime Miwa. We should go out for some barbeque sometimes. My treat.” Miwa lets his lips curl up for a second, long enough for Azuma to smile back at him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asks Miwa.

He nods.

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.”


End file.
